There are so many things I haven’t understood

 

There are so many things I haven’t understood
I must have been wiser during my childhood
Things were simpler, I saw things clearly
I smiled when I thought of my destiny
Now I don’t, I look up filled with doubt
Like a villager looking for clouds in a time of drought.

I wake up everyday hoping for a miracle
But I wake to live and re-live the same cycle
There are days when I’ m desperate still I smile
I wake, I talk, I sleep, but I’ m looking for the aisle,
In the caves that I explore with my consciousness
That will lead me to the child who is thoughtless.

I don’t have any questions I’m looking for the answer
My ears are closed I’m tired of the meaningless banter
So many people are blind and settle for grains of sand
But my eyes have beheld the fruits of the Promised Land.

I see the expanses of the desert stretch before my eyes
The devil walks these barren lands hoping for a prize
Like a vulture circling a battle field waiting for sunset
He longs for flesh, but won’t so much as taste my sweat.

There is a dark storm brewing on the horizon,
Still I search for meaning, the answer, a reason
The sand dunes begin to dance in the wind
As it softly whispers “you have sinned”.

Tears come to my eyes as I reflect on what was done
I lose myself in a reverie coloured by guilt and I run
I see a black shape taking form before me in the storm
The cloaked figure smiles at me “my son you look torn”

“Listen to my warm words you need to rest and heal your soul
Everyday I give you bread but u eat charcoal
I know you need love so I’ve sent you so many angels
You have been searching for pebbles I can give you jewels

You have been given beauty, wealth, and power
But on your tongue even sugar tastes sour
Instead of relaxing you work tirelessly
My son why didn’t you kiss Katie

You were alone I wanted to make you feel good
There is something about life you have misunderstood”

He wants me to smile to respond but I’m not here to discuss
The warrior within unsheathes my sword I speak thus: 

“All those that dance with the black prince fall
I heard your music with my back against the wall
I’ve seen you peering at me from my mirror while I weep
I’ve seen you sitting on the side of my bed watching me sleep

I know you’ve never let me out of your sight
But you won’t feast on my flesh without a fight
I am far from perfect I haven’t got a seat in her court yet
But I will fight with my bleeding soul till sunset

I’ve seen your smile but Her’s is beautiful and loving
Her love was the bread that fed me when I was starving
The water you gave looked clear but it burnt my soul
I thought I found myself but you were in control

I thought I was happy, but it wasn’t me smiling it was you 
i got lost in your illusion and began to believe it was true
I suffered but your poison kept my eyes shut
i tried to wash my eyes but my hands were cut

I lay in my bed with tears coming out of my eyes
The pain wouldn’t leave with my tears or cries
I wanted to know why me what had I done
I looked back at my past but I knew it couldn’t be undone

I wanted to take back what I did to get back my soul
But the gates of time were closed so you kept what u stole
I looked in the mirror and saw my tears fall
Then i looked into my eyes and said”, “if I cant run ill crawl

But I will bring war to this cage and its smith
I won’t sleep till I’ve cleared my soul of your filth”

“That is when I caught your eye and you saw Her in my gaze
I saw you trying to smile at me but my eyes were ablaze.”

“Many drew arms against u but fell prey to your charms
But She held me so close, wrapped tightly in Her arms
I saw your handsome face disfigured by fear
I saw your body as it was pierced by Her spear.”

“Don’t you remember the way She laughed at you?
The way Her black hair danced before you flew
As you tried to escape the light of Her black eyes
Don’t you remember the clouds leaving the skies?
To lie at her feet, what about the blood on Her teeth
 Now do you think my sword will lie dormant in its sheath?”

“You have risen a thousand times to torment the lives of men
I am a beggar I know that, I have fallen again and again
But I am a warrior, my heart will stop and my eyes will close
But my sword will continue dancing long after my death throes.”

“The grass that grows over my buried body will cut your winds
Those running from you will find shade in my tombstone
When they sit by me they will find the courage to face their sins
they will see what I saw and realise they were never alone.”

“They will stand and fight you like I did and you will perish
I will taste the tears of saints as they are freed from their anguish
Their tears will wash my bones as they fall from their free eyes
They will see that if innocence is clouded it never dies

“Satan go back to your palace and let me walk these sands
Blinded, I was drowning in your sea and then I felt Her hands
Your crown that I wore so eagerly will no longer fit on my head
Know, that I will be looking for Her footprints long after I’m dead…”

 

 
 
 


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